Well, here it is. The beginning of the end of my time at Purdue. It makes me feel old to say, "Where did the time go?" In some ways, it's hard to remember life before college; at other times, it seems like only yesterday I was a frightened freshman, desperately pedaling my bike around Purdue's campus, trying my hardest not to get lost. I remember my older brother telling me during my first semester, "You know how they say college goes by fast? Well, they're under-exaggerating."
He was right. It's hard to believe I am actually in my senior year. Lord willing, I will be student teaching next Spring, which means this is my last semester ever of regular classes. That is something that I truly cannot comprehend. Every semester has been pretty drastically different from the others. I have learned a lot about managing my time, doing things outside my comfort zone, and what it means to be a "real adult." It's still hard for me, though, to imagine myself as a real teacher. What does that even mean? Do I know how to teach? Will I even like it? Will the students like me? Do I have enough knowledge of the English language? Do I really have any idea what I'm getting myself into? How hard and scary is this job actually going to be?
Those are some of the questions I ask myself, fairly regularly. When I tell people that I am student teaching in just a few months, it strikes a little bit of terror into my heart. The question that keeps circling in my mind is, "Do I really even want to be a teacher?"
Yesterday, I had my first EDCI 422 class. The time slot is from 3:30-6:20, but I was fairly certain the professor wouldn't want to keep us that long on the first day. Well, I was wrong. But from the first minutes of class, the professor had us interacting, discussing, and engaging, and that is what continued for the entire class period. We discussed our ideal qualities for an English teacher, shared some experiences from our own teaching opportunities and those which we have observed, and asked many questions that we have about things like classroom management, curriculum, and how to keep students engaged. We also made a list of our strengths and our limitations in the context of teaching. For my strengths, I included enthusiasm, love for people, decent knowledge of the subject, and a desire to invest in people's lives. For my weaknesses, I listed lack of experience, lack of knowledge about the subject, becoming easily discouraged and overwhelmed, and a prideful attitude.
I came out of class excited and encouraged and enthusiastic about the idea of teaching. "Maybe I do want to be a teacher after all!" I thought to myself.
I know that it is ultimately by the grace of God and because of my character in Christ that I have a love for people and a desire to invest in people's lives. And I know that it is only by His grace that I will get through my last year of school and my first opportunity to try full-time teaching. I truly believe what Paul boldly states in Romans 8:31 - "If God is for us, who can be against us?"
And that is the only reason that I can dare to believe that I would like to be a teacher one day soon.
