Unplanned Subbing

Last week, I got to spend the entire day at Beacon Academy. My day started at 7:30 a.m. at Christo's, a nearby resturant. The teachers meet there every Monday from 7:30-8:30 for breakfast and a staff meeting. I went with another girl from Purdue who is also doing teaching observation at Beacon. It was nice to have someone else there who was new to the experience.

When we arrived, we were directed by the waiter to the table where the staff always meets, and they all arrived shorly afterwards - all except Mrs. Walsh, my supervising teacher. She was sick that day and wouldn't be coming at all, which made me slightly more nervous about the idea of spending the whole day in the school. The principal told me that it would actually be good if I could stay, though, because I could help them. There are only four teachers there (and about 60 students), so having one teacher gone makes things slightly more complicated.

Margaret, the other Purdue student, and I asked some questions about how the school operates, which was helpful. The teachers talked about the relationship they have with their students, with one teacher explaining how she had recently taken one of her students out to dinner because his family forgot to celebrate his birthday. Things like that make me impressed with the level of care the teachers show for their students. However, it also makes me realize that a similar kind of relationship will probably not be possible for me to have with every student, if I teach in a "regular" public school, where classes are bigger and "professional boundaries" seem more defined.

When I arrived at the school, the principal asked me if I would like to do "Advisory Circle" with the students. This involved the students sitting in a circle and talking about whatever topics came to mind. I simply started by asking them how their weekend was and if anyone had done anything exciting. One girl answered, but the other students seemed less than excited to participate in any discussion. However, once I started asking them some questions about their internships, which they do on Tuesdays and Thursdays, they were more engaged. One student told me that he wanted to do "teen court" for his internship because he wanted to be a lawyer. We then had a discussion about lying and its implications on society. That led to a discussion about morals and, more specifically, about Christianity. I was amazed at how engaged the students became in the discussion. I simply kept asking them questions and provided very little of my own input or opinion on the matter. The student who talked about wanting to become a lawyer, who had previously seemed completely uninterested in having any discussion, was suddenly transformed into a very opinionated, passionate speaker. He spoke of his own experience in reading the Bible seven times and his understanding of who God is and the significance He has today. Several other students put out their opinions, as well, and though I wanted to say more about my understanding of the Bible and the gospel, I wanted to be careful not to "force" my opinion on any of them. So I asked a few more questions until one student said he was tired of talking about religion and that we were not supposed to talk about it in the classroom anyway. I told him I didn't want them to break the rules, and that was the end of the discussion and of "Advisory Circle."

The students then got out their laptops and got to work. One of the other teachers came in periodically throughout the day, but I was mostly left to handle the classroom myself. It was basically like I was a substitute teacher for them. While I enjoyed getting to know the students better and working with them one-on-one, I found that it was very difficult for them to stay on task with their individual assignments. I tried to spend one-on-one time with each student, and I found that some needed more guidance than others. I actually ended up teaching more algebra than English (which I will discuss more in my lesson presentation reflection)! It was amusing to think that I was helping students with the subject that I struggled with most in high school.

I learned a lot in this experience about how to try to motivate students to do work. When one student asked me, "When will I ever use this in life?", instead of telling him that it would help him get into college (which I always found to be a VERY unsatisfying answer from my algebra teacher!), I told him it would give him lots of patience and perserverence, which he would need a lot of in life. That got a smile out of him, but I don't think he was fully convinced.

Another thing this experience made me think a lot about is where the line is between sharing my beliefs and opinions on a matter and simply guiding the students in discussion and letting them share their own opinions. Obviously, there were things the students said that I disagreed with, but I did not feel like I have the freedom, especially in a classroom that was not "mine", to confront those things. It makes me wonder where the balance is between speaking of the things that define who I am and how I view the world and letting students decide on their own ideas about those topics. How can I present them with truth in a way that is appropriate for the classroom and according to administrative guidelines?

This also gave me a bit of a taste of what having my own classroom might be like. Of course, I realize that the charter school setting is very different from the typical public school setting. It was good, though, to have the chance to have some authority in the classroom and to be able to lead them in discussion and help them with their individual work. I hope that in the future I have opportunities to work with students one-on-one, because that is what I find most rewarding and appealing about teaching. It was good to have an experience that made me feel a tiny bit closer to being a "real" teacher because I am realizing that whether I am ready or not, student teaching is about to come...